Stop the Tears!

Crying is completely unfair! Why is it that women can get away with crying about everything, but a man can't? It’s the most deadly tool in a female's arsenal of "weapons". I mean why can’t I get away with bawling my eyes out when I get pulled over for doing 30 over in a construction zone and get out of a ticket? Why is it that when I get into some verbal argument with the opposite sex that I can’t start to cry and instantly gain sympathy from her? It’s all really unfair if you ask me! Maybe it's because I don’t wear mascara that runs like the flooded Nile when I weep? Or maybe it’s because my teardrops don’t land gracefully upon my chest.